Wizdom
18-10-03, 14:52
An Austrian Woman's Long Journey to Islam
By Gabriele Strausser
16/10/2003
My name is Gabriele. I come from a little town in the countryside of Salzburg, Austria. I was born into a Roman Catholic family and was baptized a few days after birth. At the age of eight, I had my first communion, and at the age of twelve, I did my confirmation, as is required by the Catholic Church. Some time after my confirmation, I started questioning the beliefs in which my parents took so much pride. I distinctly remember telling a friend that I did not believe in Catholicism or any of its teachings, because I could not believe in old unverifiable fairytales that had no trace of evidence to support them. I also told her that I would keep my mind open to anyone who could provide unmistakable proof of his or her religion.
At that time, none of my friends had ever heard about Islam. As far as I remember, nearly everyone in my school and in my town was Catholic. Since Catholicism was the only religion that I was exposed to during my childhood, I was very ignorant about the other religions of the world.
After I finished school, I had a deep desire to leave my country and explore the world. My parents, of course, did not approve of this. To them it did not make sense that I would want to leave a place where I had everything. I had my own car, my own newly furnished room, many friends, a very comfortable lifestyle, and everything one would like to have. In my heart, I did not know why I had this urge to leave. My father tried to persuade me to stay at home every way that he could think of. As for my mother, she only wanted for me what would make me happy. At first, she was reluctant too, but my mother accepted my decision after she realized that this was truly what I wanted. After I promised my father that my trip would only be for one year, and after I convinced him that I would be safely placed with a host family by an agency, he sorrowfully accepted. I signed up with an Au Pair agency to be placed with a host family in the United States . Since my English was so poor, the Au Pair agency was reluctant to place me in the United States , so I had to wait a few months. The odds were against me in every aspect, but Allah provided a way for me.
At first, I was placed with a host family in New Jersey . As fate would have it, I was not very fortunate with the host family. After a few months in New Jersey , and a few months in Arizona , I ended up in California . When the year was over, I returned to Austria as originally planned.
After a few months in Austria , the urge to return to the United States overcame me. This time, my father did not approve at all, but Allah planned for me to return to California . This time a friend found a host family for me that she herself had selected. Once again, I worked as an Au Pair under a one-year contract. It was during that year that I met an Algerian man over the Internet. When the year was finished, I returned to Austria . While I was in Austria , the Algerian man proposed marriage to me. Although it seemed somewhat sudden to me, I accepted. As far as my father was concerned, I had finally found someone who would protect me when he was not able to. Consequently, he did not have to worry about my safety as much anymore. The only way he accepted my husband, however, was that I had to promise my father that I would never ever embrace Islam – only under that condition would he accept my husband. At the time, all I knew about Islam was the negative images that the Western media broadcasted. I thus had no interest in or intention of becoming a Muslim. I promised my father that I would never embrace Islam. When I came back to California , my husband and I married and started our life together.
My husband brought home some books about Islam every once and awhile. At first, I thought I would only read them to gather some knowledge to criticize Islam. One time, my husband gave me a booklet entitled A Brief Illustrated Guide to Understanding Islam. The booklet covers many subjects including the scientific miracles in the Qur'an. I was particularly amazed by them. Still, I did not want my husband to know about my amazement. I continued to give him the impression that Islam had no affect on me. We often discussed Islam and I remember asking him the most disrespectful and irritating questions. He patiently tried to answer them. My husband's patience, respect, and love had a profound affect on me. None of my friends in Austria or in the States received that kind of respect from their partner. My experience was completely different from the images that Western society portrays about how Muslim women are purportedly treated. I learned that the respectful way that my husband treated me was the true and righteous way according to the teachings of Islam.
Whenever my husband would ask how I felt about Islam, I would simply respond in an argumentative manner. I did not want him to have unrealistic hopes in his mind. Although Islam had a strong affect on me, I was not sure if I wanted to be a Muslim. I still had to consider the problems this would bring on my family. Furthermore, I was not sure if I could pray five times a day, or if I could fast during Ramadan. Alcohol and pork were no longer an issue; I never enjoyed eating pork and I had already lived without alcohol since my marriage. I knew that I would not miss these things. The biggest concern was my family. I thought, Why should I rush into such an important decision? I decided that I should finish college first and then I would reconsider Islam.
After I had been married for one and a half years and had about one year left to finish college, God made it clear to me that I could no longer wait. I had a dream one night in which I dreamed that a creature without a face and wearing a long robe was following me. Everywhere I went, this horrible creature followed me and stared at me. I was on a train and the creature appeared again. So I ran out of the train at the next stop. All the people panicked and started screaming and yelling, “Get off the streets! Get off the streets! There is a murderer on the loose that is out to kill people! Get off the streets!” I was pushed into a bar and a horrible feeling of fear overcame me. At the end of the bar, there was a curtain. I opened the curtain and on the other side was a big ballroom with mutilated bodies all over and blood everywhere in sight. Not a single living soul was left alive in the ballroom. I closed the curtain and sat down on the floor where some other people were sitting as well. Whenever someone tried to enter the room from the street side, I started saying a few words that I remembered from my husband such as: “Allahu Akabar! (God is Great!)” and “Bismillah! (In God’s name!),” hoping that this devilish creature would not withstand the words. Yet, dying as a non-Muslim was what scared me the most. I did not want to die as a non-Muslim. I wanted to convert to Islam right then and there, but I did not know the words. Also, there were no Muslims around to be my witnesses. My whole body was trembling in fear. I wanted to pray the way Muslims pray, and yet, I did not know how.
When I woke up, my body was shaking. The dream was so realistic; I had never experienced anything like it. Throughout the entire day, my whole body felt numb. My body felt so exhausted and I did not know what to make of all this. One thing I knew for sure: the only way to make sure that I would not die as a non-Muslim was to convert to Islam as soon as possible.
By the end of the day, I told my husband about my decision. He was happier than I had ever seen him before. “Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar! (Allah is Great!)” was all that he could say. Since I had always reacted in a hostile way whenever my husband had asked me about my feelings toward Islam, this came as a very unexpected surprise to him.
Still, I told my husband that I would never wear the hijab (veil). This I could not do to my family. Even after I was sure that I needed to convert to Islam, I was still worried about the shame and disruption this would bring to my family. Thus, I decided that I was not ready to tell my family that I had converted to Islam. Besides, I still was not sure if I could be a good Muslim and pray, fast, and act as good Muslims do. Alhamdulilah! (Thanks be to Allah!) Allah made it easy for me. Alhamdulilah, our marriage flourished much more after that moment.
About one year after I became a Muslim, I realized that wearing a hijab had more meaning and importance than I had first thought. Wearing the hijab was not only a simple piece of extra cloth covering my body and hair. The actual affects are not as obvious, but they are wonderful. It truly is the only right thing to do. Alhamdulilah, Allah made it very easy for me! I am a very proud Muslim, thanks to Allah.
Still the biggest test of all was to face my family. When I told my mother, she was rather accepting, thanks to Allah. As for my father, things were not as easy. When he first heard, he broke down crying. Sometimes he asks what it was that he did so wrong to be punished this way. In sha' Allah (God willing), I pray to Allah that one day my father will accept and respect my decision to be a Muslim. In sha' Allah, Allah will also give my parents the honor of being Muslims by leading them to the righteous path of Islam.
Now it is clear to me why I had to come to the United States over and over again. I was meant to leave my country, for Allah knows, if I had been in Austria, I might not have been able to become a Muslim, not only because of the constant pressures of my family, but also because of the influence of my friends and society in general. Islam is still not a legally recognized religion in Austria today. Allah surely works in mysterious ways. I had to come all the way from Austria through many hurdles, and my husband had to come all the way from Algeria for us to be united in the United States so that I could ultimately become a Muslim. Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar!
By Gabriele Strausser
16/10/2003
My name is Gabriele. I come from a little town in the countryside of Salzburg, Austria. I was born into a Roman Catholic family and was baptized a few days after birth. At the age of eight, I had my first communion, and at the age of twelve, I did my confirmation, as is required by the Catholic Church. Some time after my confirmation, I started questioning the beliefs in which my parents took so much pride. I distinctly remember telling a friend that I did not believe in Catholicism or any of its teachings, because I could not believe in old unverifiable fairytales that had no trace of evidence to support them. I also told her that I would keep my mind open to anyone who could provide unmistakable proof of his or her religion.
At that time, none of my friends had ever heard about Islam. As far as I remember, nearly everyone in my school and in my town was Catholic. Since Catholicism was the only religion that I was exposed to during my childhood, I was very ignorant about the other religions of the world.
After I finished school, I had a deep desire to leave my country and explore the world. My parents, of course, did not approve of this. To them it did not make sense that I would want to leave a place where I had everything. I had my own car, my own newly furnished room, many friends, a very comfortable lifestyle, and everything one would like to have. In my heart, I did not know why I had this urge to leave. My father tried to persuade me to stay at home every way that he could think of. As for my mother, she only wanted for me what would make me happy. At first, she was reluctant too, but my mother accepted my decision after she realized that this was truly what I wanted. After I promised my father that my trip would only be for one year, and after I convinced him that I would be safely placed with a host family by an agency, he sorrowfully accepted. I signed up with an Au Pair agency to be placed with a host family in the United States . Since my English was so poor, the Au Pair agency was reluctant to place me in the United States , so I had to wait a few months. The odds were against me in every aspect, but Allah provided a way for me.
At first, I was placed with a host family in New Jersey . As fate would have it, I was not very fortunate with the host family. After a few months in New Jersey , and a few months in Arizona , I ended up in California . When the year was over, I returned to Austria as originally planned.
After a few months in Austria , the urge to return to the United States overcame me. This time, my father did not approve at all, but Allah planned for me to return to California . This time a friend found a host family for me that she herself had selected. Once again, I worked as an Au Pair under a one-year contract. It was during that year that I met an Algerian man over the Internet. When the year was finished, I returned to Austria . While I was in Austria , the Algerian man proposed marriage to me. Although it seemed somewhat sudden to me, I accepted. As far as my father was concerned, I had finally found someone who would protect me when he was not able to. Consequently, he did not have to worry about my safety as much anymore. The only way he accepted my husband, however, was that I had to promise my father that I would never ever embrace Islam – only under that condition would he accept my husband. At the time, all I knew about Islam was the negative images that the Western media broadcasted. I thus had no interest in or intention of becoming a Muslim. I promised my father that I would never embrace Islam. When I came back to California , my husband and I married and started our life together.
My husband brought home some books about Islam every once and awhile. At first, I thought I would only read them to gather some knowledge to criticize Islam. One time, my husband gave me a booklet entitled A Brief Illustrated Guide to Understanding Islam. The booklet covers many subjects including the scientific miracles in the Qur'an. I was particularly amazed by them. Still, I did not want my husband to know about my amazement. I continued to give him the impression that Islam had no affect on me. We often discussed Islam and I remember asking him the most disrespectful and irritating questions. He patiently tried to answer them. My husband's patience, respect, and love had a profound affect on me. None of my friends in Austria or in the States received that kind of respect from their partner. My experience was completely different from the images that Western society portrays about how Muslim women are purportedly treated. I learned that the respectful way that my husband treated me was the true and righteous way according to the teachings of Islam.
Whenever my husband would ask how I felt about Islam, I would simply respond in an argumentative manner. I did not want him to have unrealistic hopes in his mind. Although Islam had a strong affect on me, I was not sure if I wanted to be a Muslim. I still had to consider the problems this would bring on my family. Furthermore, I was not sure if I could pray five times a day, or if I could fast during Ramadan. Alcohol and pork were no longer an issue; I never enjoyed eating pork and I had already lived without alcohol since my marriage. I knew that I would not miss these things. The biggest concern was my family. I thought, Why should I rush into such an important decision? I decided that I should finish college first and then I would reconsider Islam.
After I had been married for one and a half years and had about one year left to finish college, God made it clear to me that I could no longer wait. I had a dream one night in which I dreamed that a creature without a face and wearing a long robe was following me. Everywhere I went, this horrible creature followed me and stared at me. I was on a train and the creature appeared again. So I ran out of the train at the next stop. All the people panicked and started screaming and yelling, “Get off the streets! Get off the streets! There is a murderer on the loose that is out to kill people! Get off the streets!” I was pushed into a bar and a horrible feeling of fear overcame me. At the end of the bar, there was a curtain. I opened the curtain and on the other side was a big ballroom with mutilated bodies all over and blood everywhere in sight. Not a single living soul was left alive in the ballroom. I closed the curtain and sat down on the floor where some other people were sitting as well. Whenever someone tried to enter the room from the street side, I started saying a few words that I remembered from my husband such as: “Allahu Akabar! (God is Great!)” and “Bismillah! (In God’s name!),” hoping that this devilish creature would not withstand the words. Yet, dying as a non-Muslim was what scared me the most. I did not want to die as a non-Muslim. I wanted to convert to Islam right then and there, but I did not know the words. Also, there were no Muslims around to be my witnesses. My whole body was trembling in fear. I wanted to pray the way Muslims pray, and yet, I did not know how.
When I woke up, my body was shaking. The dream was so realistic; I had never experienced anything like it. Throughout the entire day, my whole body felt numb. My body felt so exhausted and I did not know what to make of all this. One thing I knew for sure: the only way to make sure that I would not die as a non-Muslim was to convert to Islam as soon as possible.
By the end of the day, I told my husband about my decision. He was happier than I had ever seen him before. “Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar! (Allah is Great!)” was all that he could say. Since I had always reacted in a hostile way whenever my husband had asked me about my feelings toward Islam, this came as a very unexpected surprise to him.
Still, I told my husband that I would never wear the hijab (veil). This I could not do to my family. Even after I was sure that I needed to convert to Islam, I was still worried about the shame and disruption this would bring to my family. Thus, I decided that I was not ready to tell my family that I had converted to Islam. Besides, I still was not sure if I could be a good Muslim and pray, fast, and act as good Muslims do. Alhamdulilah! (Thanks be to Allah!) Allah made it easy for me. Alhamdulilah, our marriage flourished much more after that moment.
About one year after I became a Muslim, I realized that wearing a hijab had more meaning and importance than I had first thought. Wearing the hijab was not only a simple piece of extra cloth covering my body and hair. The actual affects are not as obvious, but they are wonderful. It truly is the only right thing to do. Alhamdulilah, Allah made it very easy for me! I am a very proud Muslim, thanks to Allah.
Still the biggest test of all was to face my family. When I told my mother, she was rather accepting, thanks to Allah. As for my father, things were not as easy. When he first heard, he broke down crying. Sometimes he asks what it was that he did so wrong to be punished this way. In sha' Allah (God willing), I pray to Allah that one day my father will accept and respect my decision to be a Muslim. In sha' Allah, Allah will also give my parents the honor of being Muslims by leading them to the righteous path of Islam.
Now it is clear to me why I had to come to the United States over and over again. I was meant to leave my country, for Allah knows, if I had been in Austria, I might not have been able to become a Muslim, not only because of the constant pressures of my family, but also because of the influence of my friends and society in general. Islam is still not a legally recognized religion in Austria today. Allah surely works in mysterious ways. I had to come all the way from Austria through many hurdles, and my husband had to come all the way from Algeria for us to be united in the United States so that I could ultimately become a Muslim. Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar!