lennart
01-11-03, 20:51
Go West Young Jewor – Antonio Solves the Whole Middle East Problem Once and For All
by Antonio Sott’ Olio
Here’s what you do.
First consider the facts:
1. Mexico owes the United States gobs and gobs of money and has no intention whatsoever of forking over the cash any time soon.
2. America spends over $6 billion every year making sure that Israel is armed to the teeth defending itself against an ever-increasing number of hostile Arab boo-bashers.
3. Israel is mostly desert, or at least it was until the Israelis spruced it up with shrubs, lawn ornaments and barbecue sets.
4. The Baja Peninsula, just south of California is also mostly desert inhabited by nothing more than a few aging hippies in antique dune buggies.
Okay, now here’s my idea if you haven’t already guessed it. Mexico pays back its enormous debt to the U.S. by giving them the Baja Peninsula. America gives the Baja Peninsula to the Israelis and the entire Jewish population moves “South of the Border.”
The Palestinians in turn move into the old Israel, learn to use flush toilets, running water and all the other neat stuff left over by the departing Israelis.
Everyone lives happily ever after.
The Israelis are happy because they are close to all their friends in America. There’s a large fairly ignorant population of Mexicans accustomed to the exploitation of domestic labor to replace the large fairly ignorant population of Palestinians exploited back home. The Israelis will have a fresh virgin desert to rehabilitate, a nice ocean for beachfront condos and plenty of blistering Middle Eastern-style sunshine.
The Palestinians are happy because Israeli fighter jets will no longer be within striking distance of targets inside Palestine and those pesky Hasidic settlers will stop taking pock shots at them each time they herd their goats too close to their settlements. The Palestinians will finally have a homeland (which they didn’t want when it was desert, but now that its all fixed up they suddenly want it back again).
America is happy because for a fraction of what they spend in a single year in foreign aid to Israel they can instead send over airline tickets and Hartman luggage to help all the Jews move to Baja.
The Mexicans are happy because the Americans will finally stop making them feel like deadbeats for always sneaking across the border looking for a free meal and a hand-out.
Obviously the whole operation will need to be handled with unprecedented diplomatic finesse and covert chicanery. The Jews, being somewhat attached to the “Holy Land”, might need some coaxing from the CIA. Agents could easily plant a forged “Gulf of California Sea Scrolls” among the ruins of some archeological site. Written in Aramaic it would translate into modern Hebrew as “Ye wandering Jew shall wander to the Baja Peninsula” or in the vernacular, “Go west young Jew”.
There it is…problem solved, peace in the Middle East.
http://www.weeklydig.com/dig/content/1028.aspx
by Antonio Sott’ Olio
Here’s what you do.
First consider the facts:
1. Mexico owes the United States gobs and gobs of money and has no intention whatsoever of forking over the cash any time soon.
2. America spends over $6 billion every year making sure that Israel is armed to the teeth defending itself against an ever-increasing number of hostile Arab boo-bashers.
3. Israel is mostly desert, or at least it was until the Israelis spruced it up with shrubs, lawn ornaments and barbecue sets.
4. The Baja Peninsula, just south of California is also mostly desert inhabited by nothing more than a few aging hippies in antique dune buggies.
Okay, now here’s my idea if you haven’t already guessed it. Mexico pays back its enormous debt to the U.S. by giving them the Baja Peninsula. America gives the Baja Peninsula to the Israelis and the entire Jewish population moves “South of the Border.”
The Palestinians in turn move into the old Israel, learn to use flush toilets, running water and all the other neat stuff left over by the departing Israelis.
Everyone lives happily ever after.
The Israelis are happy because they are close to all their friends in America. There’s a large fairly ignorant population of Mexicans accustomed to the exploitation of domestic labor to replace the large fairly ignorant population of Palestinians exploited back home. The Israelis will have a fresh virgin desert to rehabilitate, a nice ocean for beachfront condos and plenty of blistering Middle Eastern-style sunshine.
The Palestinians are happy because Israeli fighter jets will no longer be within striking distance of targets inside Palestine and those pesky Hasidic settlers will stop taking pock shots at them each time they herd their goats too close to their settlements. The Palestinians will finally have a homeland (which they didn’t want when it was desert, but now that its all fixed up they suddenly want it back again).
America is happy because for a fraction of what they spend in a single year in foreign aid to Israel they can instead send over airline tickets and Hartman luggage to help all the Jews move to Baja.
The Mexicans are happy because the Americans will finally stop making them feel like deadbeats for always sneaking across the border looking for a free meal and a hand-out.
Obviously the whole operation will need to be handled with unprecedented diplomatic finesse and covert chicanery. The Jews, being somewhat attached to the “Holy Land”, might need some coaxing from the CIA. Agents could easily plant a forged “Gulf of California Sea Scrolls” among the ruins of some archeological site. Written in Aramaic it would translate into modern Hebrew as “Ye wandering Jew shall wander to the Baja Peninsula” or in the vernacular, “Go west young Jew”.
There it is…problem solved, peace in the Middle East.
http://www.weeklydig.com/dig/content/1028.aspx